Making Music
Finding and Pursuing Our True Passion in Life
Although the title of this post is Making Music, this post is, in fact, more about finding and pursuing our true passion in life. This true passion of mine happened to be making rock music, but I believe that it can actually be pretty much anything as long as the true passion factor is there. This is definitely not a “how-to” post. For this starting point, I decided to rather share with you the story of how making rock music and playing in bands acted as a guiding factor and pretty much shaped my entire life. Despite all the sacrifices I’ve chosen to make in order to peruse my dream, it has pretty much brought me all the joy and positive things I highly value in life. Without this passion of mine, I am certain that my professional career and my finances would be better off today, but my life and my personal history would most likely be way duller. Finding my true passion relatively early on was certainly a blessing in order to turn this life that was given to me into an exciting adventure. That said, not having found our true passion yet, and going out there to find it, can turn itself into an exciting and enriching adventure as well. I hope that some elements of my 28-year-old story of pursuing something I am deeply passionate about can contribute to inspiring others to pursue or find their true passion in life.
My First Exposure to John Bonham in Ankara
I had the chance to grow up in a home where music was highly appreciated. My parents (especially my dad) were into the 70s rock and classical music. At a very early age, while we were still living in the Turkish capital Ankara, I was exposed to bands like Led Zeppelin, Pink Floyd, and composers such as Mahler, Beethoven and more. Besides all these great names, I personally was fascinated by what was after fact called the Turkish Psychedelic Rock movement. As a child, I was a great fan of artists such as Barış Manço, Cem Karaca, and Erkin Koray. For me, they were more than just rock stars. I used to perceive them as some kinds of superheroes. Besides the fact that they played great music in a language I could understand, they also had big Turkish mustaches just like my dad did. The ‘stache element alone could have sufficed to raise them to the superhero status for me at that time, but the reality was that they were fascinating in all aspects of their music and image.
Resisting to the Keyboard
While we were still living in Ankara, I was very lucky that my parents got me some pseudo piano lessons which I was able to take on a Casio keyboard. After our move to Geneva Switzerland in 1984, I got even luckier and was able to take, legitimate piano lessons on real pianos. Despite all this privilege I had access to, the actual instrument never clicked with me. Even though my piano professors would see some kind of musical talent in me, I was a terrible piano student, and terrible at playing the piano. I loved music as a fan, but the lessons were extremely boring to me. In my early teen years, on top of the great 70s rock bands, I started to get into listening to bands such as Iron Maiden, U2, The Cure, and The Sex Pistols. I have to confess that growing up in the French-speaking part of Switzerland, I was also exposed to terrible French pop music during the 80s and early 90s. All that to say, I haven’t only listened to cool bands during my childhood and early teenage years.
The Red Ibanez
One day with my mom we were invited to a Turkish get together in Geneva at one of her best friends house. I must have gotten bored to hang out with adults, so at one point I took the initiative to explore our host’s basement on my own. That’s where I came across a red Ibanez electric guitar. I was instantly fascinated by the looks of the instrument. I had no idea how it could be played. I took the instrument upstairs and showed what I had just found to the börek eating, Turkish black tea drinking crowd in the room. Our host told me that her son wanted to play the guitar a while ago, but he had kind of given up on playing the actual instrument. She told me that I could borrow the red Ibanez if I wanted to. This was the very beginning of a long and exciting journey for me.
Baby Steps into Rock n’ Roll
The guitar also came with a tiny practice amp. As much as I did not like the piano, I was very soon going to become obsessed with the six string instrument. After 10 minutes of holding the red Ibanez in my hands plugged in to the practice amp, I had naively but from the bottom of my heart with all my sincerity had already decided to become a rocker for the rest of my life. The only little problem was that I still did not know how to play the actual instrument.
There was a guy named Takuro who lived in our neighborhood. He and his family had freshly arrived from Japan and taken over the house where my best friend Atsushi lived in. This was right after Atsushi’s definitive departure to Japan with his family. Atsushi and Takuro’s dads worked for the same Japanese TV company and were sent to Switzerland for a four-year mission each. Takuro did not know how to play the guitar either, but he knew how to play one thing. He could play the bass line of “Stand by Me” of Ben E King on the guitar. He thought me how to play the bass line on the red Ibanez. It was very challenging for me at first, because I was a complete beginner. The red Ibanez guitar very quickly became my new best friend. It was very difficult for me to put the instrument aside and do other activities. If I would take a break from it, soon after, something inside of me would push me to go and play some more. I was happily addicted to playing. I had found an instrument for which I was genuinely motivated. No one had to tell me to go practice, I just wanted to play it all the time.
Playing in Bands
A few months later I formed my first band with my best friends from Jr. High. Along with the guitar, at one point, in parallel, I also started to play the bass, because nobody seemed wanting to play the four-string instrument in my close circle of friends, and the ones who did weren’t ready to play in a band yet. After a couple of years playing with friends, I started to respond to adds and play with other musicians in town. I played the guitar in one band with a really good rhythm section. I must have gotten inspired by the way they made rhythm section work since soon after we stopped playing together, I started to spend more time playing bass guitar. Back then, among my circle of musician friends, I did not see myself as one of the best guitar players. I slowly discovered that I was more talented for the bass. I soon started to audition for bands as a bass player.
Although I was still some sort of a beginner on the bass, there seemed to have lack of rock bass players in Geneva at that time. Every audition I would attend, people were willing to have me in their band. I briefly played in a couple of bands as a bass player, until I joined my first serious band, Swoan. After some lineup changes during the initial year, without even realizing it at first, I ended up in a perfect situation where I was playing the type of music I loved with three of my best friends at the time. Our adventure lasted over a five year period. It was an amazing human and musical experience. Even to this day, I am still in touch with my old bandmates, and consider them as my brothers. If you want to read more about Swoan, here’s a post I wrote for the recent release of some 20-year-old material.
The Split & My Move to San Diego
The split of Swoan was devastating for me. Back then I was 24 years old, and I still wanted to rock more than ever. My next move needed to be as big as the emotional pain I was going through. I decided to move to the United States and start a band over there. What could have been seen as a naive dream of a young man with a broken heart who wanted to rebound from a big setback, turned soon into reality? My decision to move to Southern California was taken under the influence of heavy emotions, and I had not done much planning. Almost miraculously everything ended up working out perfectly for me. I moved to San Diego in September 1999, and in early 2001 I was already playing bass in a band called Bosom of the Urgent West. The same day of our very first show in town, during the morning hours, we were invited to a local TV station named KUSI to perform one song. My very first public appearance in the US as a musician ended up actually being on local Television. We’ve played about 20 shows with that band before our two guitar players decided to leave the band, both pretty much at the same time.
With Chris the drummer of the band, we wanted to keep playing and pursue our rock n roll adventure together. We started to look for a guitar player and met Kenny. The three of us started a band called Channing Cope. For our second album Sugar in Our Blood we were able to get signed on a national label, release three albums, play near 300 shows, and went on a dozen of tours including a full-on US national tour. The six years we stayed together were probably the highlight of my life to this day. Besides our accomplishments as a rock band, I had gained two more brothers in life. Being active in a band and playing the music I loved with like-minded people was an incredible feeling. On top of all that goodness, being able to play in an active band in a foreign country enhanced my social life as well, and helped me to integrate myself into the American society. I ended up living for about eleven and a half years in San Diego. I had an incredible time, and met the most interesting people I could have ever meet.
In addition to my rock n roll adventure, in parallel, after earning some credits at San Diego City College, I was able to transfer to the University of California San Diego (UCSD) and graduate from there with a degree. Knowing that my last interaction with a school in Switzerland, was when I dropped out of high school, this was a huge accomplishment for me. I had actually called it the quits with high school so I can build a real career as a rocker with Swoan. I first enrolled to San Diego City College, so I could legally stay in the US and continue to rock with Channing Cope. These two major events in my life, show how rock n’ roll has always been the main influencing factor in my decision making. At the end of the day, I believe that my decisions made with a rock n’ roll agenda in mind have brought me way more positive things in life than negative ones.
Black Sea Storm
Around the same time as we had founded Channing Cope with Chris and Kenny, I started a solo project named Black Sea Storm. It wasn’t the first time I had a solo project, but I wanted to get back at playing alone so I could keep being creative on nights when I did not play with my band. Black Sea Storm acted as a laboratory to become a better bass player and most importantly to get better at initiating and constructing backbones for songs. From 2002 to 2009 I would mostly write songs with multilayered bass lines until one day in 2009 I started to have access to electric guitars. I had no special desire to play the guitar, but since I was interested in my music to sound more like a full band, out of necessity I started to play the guitar and the drums on top of my bass lines. If you’d like to read in more detail about Black Sea Storm’s story here’s the link.
As the years were passing by, the logistic side of playing in bands and going on tours was becoming more and more difficult for me and for the music playing people around me. Having a solo project where I could play all the instruments, record, digitally publish and distribute my own music worldwide, without passing by a label was a solution that allowed me to pursue my dream during the times when I wasn’t involved with a band. After the split of Channing Cope I’ve been pursuing writing and recording songs for Black Sea Storm to this day.
In 2010 I had the opportunity to play as a stage bass player for a great musician named Kenseth Thibideau. I was able to join him and his band for a total of 30 shows or so. We went on a couple of little tours to Texas and up the West Coast. The line up was made of amazing musicians. Joining Kenseth’s band allowed me to play with Tim Soete of The Fucking Champs, John Baez of Rumah Sakid, Chris Fulford-Brown stage musician with Pinback, and the highly skilled jazz drummer Nathan Hubbard. Although it was the first time during my rock career that I was not involved in the creative process, our musical worlds with Kenseth were close enough that I could deeply relate to his songs and play the bass lines as they were mine. It was overall a great experience for me to play and tour with such outstanding musicians.
Back to Switzerland
Times without being in a band had unfortunately arrived. After my dream like an adventure in the US, it was very difficult for me to play with local musicians in Geneva again. I did not have the motivation to audition, or put a band together in the city were the red Ibanez guitar had sparked the beginning of an amazing journey. During the six years I stayed in Geneva, I did not play with other musicians, I was able to record and release two Black Sea Storm albums (Renk Son Güneş, and Issız Ada), and I would regularly play on my I own. Playing had become such a big part of who I was, that it was impossible for me to think about giving up making rock music. My mind and my body needed that interaction with a musical instrument, although in terms of consequent musical activity there wasn’t much going on in my life during that period.
My Move to Argentina
After losing my steady day job opportunity in the software industry I had for five years, and not being able to find a new job after being laid off. I decided to repeat my North American adventure with the south of the continent this time. I decided to move to Buenos Aires. Although I had to sell most of my music gear before departure, I took my bass guitar and a bunch of cables for recording purposes with me. After six months of being in the city and only playing my electric bass acoustically, I could not handle the reality of not being able to create and release songs with Black Sea Storm anymore. At that point, I decided to purchase an electric guitar and invest in simple portable gear for recording. I had a ton of other, probably more important issues that I needed to deal with as a newcomer, but I knew that once I start creating music again, the rest would fall into place on its own. Since my arrival in Argentina, I was able to write and release three single albums, in quite minimal conditions. I am currently working on new songs which I hope to release soon as well.
Once again I could witness that having the courage to give the priority to my true passion was the right thing to do. As I had foreseen it, as soon as I started to make music, other elements of my life have one by one started to fall into place. To the point where today I have a steady work opportunity as a freelancer and recently started to play with other musicians. With the new band, we’ve been regularly meeting at a rate of two practices a week in the form of jam sessions. Our musical meetings have been extremely fun and highly creative so far. After 15 months of being in Argentina, once again, rock music has been allowing me to meet new people and has been helping me to integrate myself into the society I live in. Thank my true passion in life, I feel less like an isolated expat living abroad.
As a side note that has its importance: In my new band, I am playing the guitar. After playing the bass for the major part of my rock career, it is very interesting to me that I somehow ended up playing my very first rock instrument again, in a band situation. As if my humble career as a rocker is in the process of completing a sort of a full circle.
My Parallel Journey in Finding a Second Passion
Although I had found my true passion early on in life, I was never able to make a substantial living with it. This situation pushed me to have a parallel adventure of finding something I liked enough so I can make a living on this earth. This brings us back to what I was mentioning in the very beginning of this post. Trying to find something we are passionate about, can in itself become an exciting adventure. As far as I am concerned the adventure of finding something that I am passionate enough to make a living out of it, is still an ongoing journey. Throughout this parallel journey of mine, I was able to explore, study and work in fields such as: web publishing, art, restaurant management, the third wave coffee movement, the kebab industry, retail, academia in a renown university, working in a meat factory, software development, customer service, project management, transcreation, quality assurance, blogging, and probably more things that I can’t even remember right now….. Oh yeah! I remember a funny one! At one point I even got myself into a situation where I was selling Herbalife products. Although in the US Herbalife is a well-accepted legitimate company, when I got myself into selling Herbalife products in the mid-90s in Switzerland, the whole thing had more of a pyramid scam aura. Luckily I was able to stop doing this business before starting to lose friends.
It could be perceived as something a bit scary to be 42 years old and still trying to figure out a way to have a sustainable life and at the same time be able to pursue my true passion. I personally don’t think that I’ve been all over the place since whatever I commit to, I try to do it at the best of my capabilities. Still today, I am open to try new things and embrace new opportunities as they present themselves to me. Even though nothing was planned to happen the way it did so far in my life, being able to explore a multitude of disciplines, allowed me to pivot and gain expertise in various areas. I have now a good idea of the things I am good at doing, and the things I am less good at. The current challenge for me relies on bringing it all together and have as much joy with the lucrative activities that I have with my true passion. Or ultimately combine some of the activities I’ve been involved in professionally with my true passion and finally be able to focus on one single thing for the rest of my life.
I learned something new
This post ended up being extremely long and very different than my other starting point write-ups, but while writing it I realized that I have learned something new from my own experience. When I first started writing this post what I wanted to express was the idea that it’s great to have a passion in life so there is always a constant element present in our lives that pushes us forward and make us feel good. Because I deeply believe that once we feel good in an area that we cherish, it affects positively other areas in our lives. I also wanted to express the idea that if we haven’t found our true passion yet, the desire to find it can also play a similar role as a constant motivating factor. My opinion has not changed much on those points. I think that having such elements in our lives would, for the most part, have a very positive effect.
What I was able to learn by revisiting my memories and writing this post, is that finding our true passion early on in life, especially if this passion is something highly impacted such as playing rock music in bands, there are going to be major challenges to overcome to fit that passion into a life in a sustainable manner. It has been a fantastic adventure to pursue my true passion, but as I mentioned it earlier, I was never able to make a living out of it. This resulted in a situation in which I feel like I could never completely reach the self-actualization level on Maslow’s Pyramid. Although I have not talked much about the negative consequences of following my true passion so far, it indeed had some major consequences on different areas of my life. In short, my true passion stayed as a baby that I constantly needed to take care of, instead of it evolving into adulthood and providing for me on a financial level. In addition, having already found my true passion in life made it more difficult to fall in love with a second activity. This may also explain why I’ve been exploring a lot of different fields to generate income.
With all the experience and the wisdom gained with regards to idea of pursuing a true passion and at the same time generate money with other activities, this is how I would approach my journey if I were to start it all over again today: Once we have found our true passion, and we are certain that this is something we want to pursue the long haul, I think it is extremely important to think about how we are going to sustain it. If it’s an activity that is either not highly impacted or if there is a big demand for it, then the easiest strategy would be to find a way to turn our true passion into something that also pays our bills. If not, as it is for my case, then I think that it would be best early on to develop a strategy so we can nurture our passion with minimum additional effort in order to pursue it in a sustainable way throughout the years. Most importantly, we don’t want our devotion for our true passion to make us miss out on other great things that life has to offer. As far as I am concerned, I was somehow able to pursue my passion and dream to a certain extent for the past 28 years or so, but it came at a great cost in other areas of my life. If I had assessed the true nature of my passion early on, and had come up with a more thought out and realistic strategy, I believe that not only the negative consequences of pursuing my dream would have been lesser, but also I would have had the opportunity to maximize my efforts put into making music and reap greater benefits from it. And who knows, maybe this would have allowed me to get to the point of making a living with my true passion.
My Conclusion For Now
Finding our true passion is, in my opinion, one of the greatest gifts life can offer to someone, but I do think that it also comes with great responsibility in developing a realistic sustainable strategy right at the very moment we realize that we have found our true passion in life. Especially if this true passion of ours happened to be something highly impacted such as making rock n roll music, acting or playing soccer. I could write an entire post similar to this one narrating the difficulties and the negative effects that were thrown at me as consequences of the decisions I have taken to support and follow my true passion. When I reflect on why difficulties and negative effects have emerged, to me, for the most part, it always boils down to the same thing: I was never was able to support myself financially with my true passion. Despite all the challenges and my life having been shaped the way it did, I strongly believe that I did the right thing to follow my true passion. Not only because the positive largely outweigh the negative in my views, but most importantly because I believe that following my true passion has given a sense to my existence on this planet.
I AM NOT A HEALTH PROFESSIONAL. I would like to make it very clear that I am only sharing my own experience on this website, and have no intention to give any specific advice on health. Please read the disclaimer section for more information.
